Sattva

Be As You Are.....

2009-02-19T21:30:00.000-08:00

The emptiness of Being Empty ....
The fullness of Being Full...
Its just "Being" after all....
Always the beginning and also always the end...
There is no middle in it really....
just the feeling of a passing wave....
how long does a wave last?
a few seconds in time...
and yet nothing in eternity....

If time is a speck in the eternal...
and the past doesnt exist.... neither does the future...
the present is an illusion in itself....
for the sense of time is only in the mind.
Then what do you plan for?
and where are you headed?
You're on the road that leads no where...
and yet its paved with your sweat.

Stop for a moment... stay still for a while...
Who is the you.... thats living your life?
What are your thoughts & where is the thinking?
What is this searching? when its all already inside?

Lost are we all in in the web of layers....
one deeper than the next....
and yet we think we roam freely...
only to be in the prison of the self.

Drop your guns and your tools....
what use is it in a dream?
there is no you while you sleep....
when you awake... there was never a dream.

What do you wish to accomplish today?
Nothing is necessary....
You live like you are here forever...
when you leave its like you're life had never been...

So stop now...and witness the play...
dont you see the magic everywhere?
It blinds you in the day and restores you at night....
None of this is you.... you have always known that in plain sight.

Be as You are... its the only way to be.
Everything you thought of ... will cease to be....

Watch now... the world will pass you by...
while you smile and you laugh....
Wipe the tears of the ones who cry...
Lift up the ones who fall....
It is only you now....
Who has the strength for it all.

You were never lost and so you cannot be found....
You own the nameless name....
In forever you abound.

"Aham Brahmasmi" - I AM Totality.

- ISHA.

What is ISNESS ?????

2009-02-11T16:53:00.000-08:00

Yes the Eternal question - What is Isness? Who am I ?

Everybody has a an idea, a belief or a spiritual experience when it comes to knowing and finding God. But finding God - is just the second to last step - like the tearing through the fabric sky of the Truman Show. God does not exist - simply because the human "ego" does not exist. God exists only in context to human beings. No human beings = no God to love, seek or worship.

But Human beings do exist - of course we do - but we all exist in our own Truman show - not knowing that its all fake. Its all a dream. Of course in the show/dream a God exists too. A very loving one. But its not the Ultimate. Eventually.... no matter how amazing the show is ..... everyone starts feeling an itch, a discomfort....a feeling that something is not right.... something is weird, odd.... something is missing.... and so the search begins, for the Ultimate Satisfaction. The seeking and exploring..... of what the hell is going on? Who am I? What does it mean to be spiritual? What is Enlightenment? How do you get there?

This note is not about the "process" of enlightenment but what happens after? Whats behind the final door? What happens once you go through the gateless gate? What happens when Truman tears through the fabricated sky? It is the point where the ego dissolves.... more like the projected hologram withdraws itself - this is Enlightenment - along with the ego dissolves also the idea of "2's" - of duality - human beings and God are one - not 2. The God that you were searching all along was you yourself. There was never a God outside of you that needed worship or seeking. Sai baba - says it beautifully - "The distance between you and God is the distance between you are yourself."

The Love, the Faith, the Hope, the Surrender that you feel for an invisible God - you will eventually feel for yourself, within yourself.... then with everybody else..... then with the Universe at large. There is no authority outside of you. You are your own Guru, your own God that you have been looking for.

So if you and God are one - and both dissolved in Enlightenment - or rather did not exist to begin with then what is the source of everything? ISNESS - ISNESS - ISNESS - JUST ISNESS.

ISNESS is just another name for God - the only difference is that "God" is personal - there is emotion & devotion because God exists in context to human beings and the human ego.

Isness on the other hand is totally Neutral.

If I had to describe Isness from my experience of my present reality - it would be something like this - (note - no amount of description through words or language can describe Isness - and neither can "a mind" comprehend it. But here goes.....)

Imagine Isness - Eternity - extending infinitely in all directions - pure Nothingness. Somewhere in the center ( well there are no boundaries so there is no "center" - but just for the sake of understanding use your imagination.) ..... in the center - is "ALL" of existence - and with that I mean - all the universes - all the galaxies - the number of which cannot even be counted - the observable universe alone may contain a 100 billion galaxies, all the milky ways - in our own galaxy the sun is just one of 100 billion stars. Everything - Everything that "Exists" is just a tiny speck within "ISNESS." Phew and thats not it......

"ALL" of existence that is within this Infinite Neutral Isness - is like a giant Ocean - and everything that is existing within this existence - be it a universe, a sun, planet earth, you, your neighbor, your dog, the tree on the curb, that terrorist you hate - everything is just a wave in the ocean of existence. Nothing is really solid or has an identity of its own. Ever watched an Ocean? How long do the waves last? What is the nature of each wave? The wave arises from the ocean - holds an identity as "a wave" for a few seconds - still being an extension of the ocean the entire time and then merges back into the ocean. A full circle.

That's what is going on. Everything that exists - just flows like waves.
The "human experience" is that of a wave arising - but forgetting that it is an extension of the ocean..... and thus the search for the ocean... and when it merges back - "the ego or the identity" that once existed - dissolves back into nothingness - ISNESS. When the ego is gone what remains? The True Self remains which = No Self which = ISNESS. Always has been, IS & always will be. Eternity.

Even all of existence that looks so solid within Isness - is just a concept, an idea that is projected by Isness itself. Like a hologram. You, our planet and everything that exists - is appearing and disappearing 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,

000 times in less than a second..... we are all popping in and out of existence so fast that it all looks solid. Just like if you saw a moving fan - it looks like a sphere moving like a Frisbee...but the minute you turn the fan off - you realize its not a round disk - but in fact 3 separate blades that were moving so fast.

So what is the meaning of life? Nothing. What is the purpose of life? Nothing.
As long as you are experiencing yourself as a separate wave - of course there is meaning & purpose in the relative context. And the meaning is whatever you want it to be. Its all about you. You really are the center of the universe and everything revolves around you.

But when you experience yourself as the ocean again - or better still - when you experience yourself as "ISNESS" again - then what meaning or purpose remains? There is not a feeling of "I" anymore - just the feeling of nothingness which = ISNESS which = everything (and Nothing.)

This was my experience of enlightenment - I was in India - and late at night - my eyes were suddenly glued shut for what what I can only imagine must have been 5 hours or so.... and within that time - "Radhika and the "I" feeling was gone and instead "I" was ISNESS - and all of existence and creation was within me like the ocean and the waves in it. The feeling was very neutral. Absolute nothingness. In those 5 hours everything there is to be known was known to me. I was asking all the questions & I was myself answering them to myself.

And then I collapsed - unconscious - deep sleep - when I awoke the next morning - EVERYTHING was different - Radhika existed no more - Isha was uncovered. Of course no one jumps to realizing ISNESS right away & neither did I - enlightenment looks and seems like a process - you do first grow & evolve more and more spiritually - start aligning more with the spirit - then there is a definite experience of "unconditional love - Godhood - a very personal feeling - an experience of "Oneness" with everyone & all beings - and finally its the Experience of ISNESS - I AMNESS - Neutral. Everything dissolves. The world is not broken and so there is nothing to fix. Everything is Perfection. There is neither Creation, nor Destruction, Neither Free Will, nor Destiny, Neither Path, nor Achievement.
It ALL Just IS.

My friends still ask me why? why all this? Why do we all exist?
And all there is to say is this - for those who get a little emotional about it - "God separated himself from himself - so that he can Love himself."

Everything just IS.

ISNESS - GOD - is just going through a full circle. Like a wave in its own being.

ENJOY ;-)

From Radhika to Isha.....

2009-02-11T11:36:00.000-08:00

Isha means Isness - the primordial formless energy that is the source of all creation.

This piece of writing and the one before this- clearly shows that there is a new person here now. Or rather an “unperson", a nonperson. I know that's not even a word. But what do you call someone who has none of the human traits and needs? Enlightened? Hardly. Enlightenment implies that there is an ego & ignorance that exists which needs to be dissolved or destroyed through the process of enlightenment. To the unenlightened - this looks like a long journey - a huge goal - a ton of seeking & searching & exploring. To the Enlightened - there never was a journey, never a goal. Who did all the seeking & searching? The ego doesn't exist, and neither does your mind. So who was Ignorant and who got Enlightened? Who realizes What? As my good friend Joe Sarti said to me - “The Enlightened One realizes there is NO Enlightenment and that's the Enlightenment.” The Ultimate paradox. Enlightenment does not Exist. There is Nothing to Realize.
The following is my process from Radhika To Isha.... that started In Chicago - but ended in India....

They say that heartbreak or loss of love is the ultimate form of human suffering. Some recover from it and learn to move on and for some (like me ) its the “last human experience.” For me my ultimate suffering turned into my biggest blessing - an excuse if you will to turn my caterpillar into a butterfly. It sounds cool buts its not all fancy.... the transition is anything but pleasant. To pass through the "gateless gate" is the most agonizing, painful, heart wrenching process one will ever go through. Its pure madness. Total insanity. Your mind has turned in on itself. You are at war with yourself - how do you beat that? You cannot win - and neither do you loose. Your thoughts, your mind is not you. The "you" that you think of & know of as you is not the real you. The one that is fighting the war is not the one that emerges victorious, it is not the one that passes through the final gate. Everything that consists & comprises of “you” dies - yes it is the final suicide - and what remains "IS" what always has been. The hologram, the illusion has ended - and the source of it all remains. Pure ISNESS.

After my heartbreak - there wasn't the usual “human pattern” of loss & gain, of mourning & moving on that I was expecting. There was no mourning or no feeling of loss of “him”, a “relationship”, a “love” - instead there was something in me that was screaming ENOUGH - there was something in me which for some reason was not affected at all by the biggest heartbreak tragedy of my life. In fact after the incident - I almost had instant amnesia - I could remember nothing of my loss or my suffering.... total numbness. No thinking, no tears. A total zombie like state & yet I was aware that something in me has stayed constant all through life just like a witness. Its like I had woken up from a dream.

Even through my numbness there was intense pain - which I knew had no cause. Which is odd because all human experience of joy or pain is “due” to something. All human experience is based on “cause and effect.” My pain seemed to be emerging out of nowhere. It just “was”. Literally infinite amounts of pain, with the intensity of earthquakes & tornado's just emerging from within me. Months of complete insomnia. The loss, the pain, the agony, the tears that I was experiencing was for the Death of “Me”. Everything that I identified and associated as “Me” was dying - dreams, ambition, sense of care, sense of exploring, seeking, doing, hope, my sexuality.... my identification as a “woman” & consequentially my search for a man & love - All Gone. Everything dissolves. Vanishes.There was a definite end of “hope” - there was no more searching of anything. Who was there to hope for? And what do you hope for? Nothing exists. There was nothing to Be, Do, or Have. Nothing felt “new” anymore - even if it appeared to be. A feeling like everything has ended - and “THIS IS IT” - I lost my ability to think about “a future.” In fact my “thinking process” in itself was gone. The “thinker” had died. No matter how much I tried - there was nothing - further - nothing to look forward to other than more nothingness.

I was beginning to experience myself as 2 - a me that is just constant and still - thinking nothing - wanting nothing - just witnessing. Then there was a hologram of me - a not real me - that was acting and communicating in the world - pretending and appearing to be normal like everyone else. This hologram eventually faded away. And now there is just One that remains.

When anyone asks me about finding a mate again - or falling in love - the feeling in me as a response to that is indescribable - a feeling... a knowing that I am on the highest mountain top in the world - I can see everything - really really see - EVERYTHING - the view is spectacular and breathtaking..... a sense of being complete - everything i have ever wanted, desired, or hoped for is here ... in me. I AM it. All of it. A perfection. An absolution. Finding a mate would be like walking down this mountain and returning to the shallow valleys! NO WAY - nothing in the world is worth giving up this view from up here! No prize, no jewel compares to this! But more importantly - after enlightenment, identification with woman - man goes away. Dissolves. You are not your sexuality. The idea of man, woman doesn't really exist - its just another very deep layer of the workings of the ego. When I move about in public...my experience of myself is that of being "invisible" to all people. My experience of myself is nothingness.

Celibacy, loss of desire, detachment from all outcome, loss of preferences, the loss of that constant voice in your head,- are all natural outcomes or by products of enlightenment.
Enlightenment is the Gain of Nothing. Pure nothingness.
The finding of your "true self" is a "No-Self." All that Is is just Isness.
Enlightenment isnt the gain or realization of anything new - its the unveiling of what always has been. Of what IS.

Everything in the world that was once soooooo appealing to me - so important... it has all lost its charm .... they all look like scraps to me - like waste in the bin. Pointless, meaningless. All the world pales in comparison to this inner state of Being.... of Isness.
Time looses its reality. All that is - is in this moment.

Even human beings loose their appeal - before I would get excited to know someone new - sometimes feel intimidated by great personalities - all that is gone. Now I have no "need" or desire to "get to know" someone - its like you see one - you’ve seen them all. Know one - and you know them all. Like leaves on a tree. There is nothing to really know about a person. No one is even there - everybody is empty. The only thing that is there is the ego - the same in everyone - just in different proportions and colors. Thoughts, opinions, beliefs dont matter. They dont even exist. Everything is false - everything belongs to the ego - Everything! Everything that a human does from birth to death - every thought he thinks, all the activities he engages in, its All just to fuel the ego and keep it going - all effort only to uphold this hologram of an ego!

What I now see in people is their pure Isness - their Pure Being veiled behind their egos. There is an instant love for whomsoever I see or interact with - the Isness in them is an extension of my own being. Its all me wherever I go.

All fear, all care, all searching and wanting in me is replaced by “a presence” - so vast, so deep - in all directions. Every time I go out for a run - I feel all of existence talking to me - every breeze feels like a giant hug.... every tree I lay eyes on acknowledges my presence. Every blade of grass, even the solid pavement feels like family... so much love from everywhere - how did I not see this before? How was I so blind? and where did the “me” go? its like the “me” that used to be just vanished - evaporated in thin air almost as if it was never there to begin with.

Radhika died and Isha was born.... actually Radhika died and "uncovered" the Isha that was always there.

There's no Turning back...the Beginning is the End.

2009-01-14T12:05:00.000-08:00

Amongst all the the different roads that one walks on in their lifetime, there is one road, a nameless and formless one... that a chosen few are called upon...The spiritual road is a one way street - there is only an entry. No exits, No U-turns. Not even a left or a right. The march is always Forward. Even when you feel you have arrived. There is always a step Further.

No one voluntarily chooses this path... you are always forced into it. No warning. No signs. Not even a choice or an idea of Free will. Like a fish to a bait...you are lured into the most enticing trap... almost as if hypnotized under a spell. Its a pleasure you have never known before, a love that feels so absolute. A bond, a trust so strong, you feel you've been graced by the lord. The whole world pales in comparison to this kind of joy. And yet, all the while... little do you know, you walk innocently towards your impending doom. Like sweet suicide.

The final moment of death...actually feels quite surreal. As if you are watching yourself end...in a dream within a dream. I dont remember any pain - only shock at first followed by months of numbness. The reflection in the mirror has gone. And Gone are all your thoughts and preferences. Your empty mind pulls you into a vortex of the "self"...something is beginning to awaken. There is no turning back now. You have entered the spiritual realm. Worldly doors close behind you. And the road ahead is just a haze.

The air of freedom fills your lungs...like a new born taking its first breath. Surrender replaces fear... there is nothing to lose now. The I that lived belongs to the world of the dead and yet there is an I that is alive? Am I reborn or have I finally emerged? Who died and who lives now? Who suffered and who is free? Who loved and what was lost? Past, present, future melt into one. You, your suffering and your freedom are one. The wave has become the ocean again. You are home.

You awakened yourself. There was never an enemy.
You have always been ONE... there was never anything else..other than You.
You were never ignorant... and thus enlightenment can never be achieved.
For how can you search for that which you already are?

There was never a path... never a road..
Never a beginning, never an end...
You traveled from nowhere to now here.
When you awaken ... you realize there was never a dream.
It has always been just You...before and after...
Just... ISNESS... just You.
Its ALL just You.
Soham.
Aham Brahmasmi.
Om Shanti Shanti Shanti.

The Real Mantra...

2009-01-07T09:28:00.001-08:00

Asatoma sad gamaya
Tamaso mah jyotirgamaya
Mrityorma amrutam gamaya

Translates to...

Lead us from Unreal to Real...
Lead us from Darkness to Light...
Lead us from Death to Immortality.

What is a Miracle?

2009-01-06T03:42:00.001-08:00

To Some - Eating and Enjoying their meals is guaranteed.
To others receiving even one meal is a Miracle.

To some - having a nice comfortable home is natural.
To others having a roof, sometimes on a cold rainy day is a Miracle.

To some - wearing beautiful clothes is taken for granted.
To others having a small wrap to uphold their dignity is a Miracle.

So what is a Miracle?
Ask yourselves - Am I Fortunate?
Each One of You today are surrounded by innumerable Miracles,
The Miracle of Life, The Miracle of Being surrounded by God.
All that You have today is a Miracle.

Whatever you are blessed with...
Remember there is someone out there deprived of those same blessings.
Be Grateful! Be Thankful! Be Content!
Be Generous! Be Compassionate! Be Helpful!

Do not complain like a broken record...
Each one of you are blessed...with a special gift of Love.
Find your gift, unwrap it - treasure it.

- Satya Sai Baba.

My Ultimate Search....

2009-01-04T08:35:00.000-08:00

I don’t know about the rest of you, but since I was 8 i have been very curious about how the universe worked. I remember always sticking my head out of the car window at night and staring at the moon - and I would go into this zone in my mind where I would wonder what it was like before any of this existence was created - what was it like before God made the moon and earth? What was God doing? Was he bored? Caught up in these thoughts, suddenly I would find myself feeling so vast within. Like as if I was extending into space, and nothing else existed except black nothingness! It felt like I was under a spell. Obviously at 8 years old I didn’t understand any of this. I was just completely mesmerized and fascinated by what I was experiencing. Like getting lost in a magical fantasy world that only I knew off! It was my secret.

As I grew older I got more curious. I had so many questions that didn’t make any sense to begin with. I must have been 10 or 12 years old, when Satya Sai Baba one of the great avatars (God embodied as human) in India was visiting Mumbai. (Known as Bombay back then.) My Mother has been a devoted follower of Sai baba since she was 13 and she has strived to instill the same devotion in her children. So she took me with her to get Sai Baba’s darshan (to see and receive blessings). It was a really hot day and people had gathered in the thousands just to get a glimpse of this man who is a divine powerhouse. His power and grace is undeniable. I was holding my moms hand, hoping not to get lost in the massive crowd - when I suddenly looked up to her and asked her - “Mom, if God made the world, then who made God? Where did God come from?” I can never forget that blank look on her face. She was totally stumped. With a stammer in her voice she tried to answer my questions with very vague answers like - “God is God.” and “Thats a very stupid question.” Her loss of words made my aunt who was there with us break into a hysterical laughter. While my mother was trying to shut me up, my aunt encouraged me, saying that my questions were a good start. And I should keep going at them, and someday I’ll find the answers. She had no children of her own, that day I could feel her love for me and how smitten she was by my innocence.

Brutal as it sounds, and Im sure every adult will agree with me when I say that eventually life strips us from our child like innocence. My first heart break at 16 made me feel like I was electrocuted with pain. It was my first real tangible experience of “suffering.” My reality as I knew it, had dissolved into this swamp of questions. I wanted answers and I wanted them NOW. I started reading ceaselessly. I bought every spiritual self help book that I laid eyes on. Dr Wayne Dyer became one of my favorites. As they say, “the teacher appears when the student is ready.” I found my first guru (enlightened master) - Sri Sri Ravi Shankar - founder of The Art Of Living in India. I immediately signed up for his courses, and I was officially initiated into a meditation designed by a guru. (Even though I have been meditating in my own way since I was 5.) I was so excited and lost in this new world full of “spiritual” people. I was having amazing transcendental experiences. I was happy all the time. Everything around me seemed beautiful. I even started feeling superior to most people. Especially my friends. Because I was “spiritual” and they weren’t. I thought I had found all the answers. Little did I know this was just the beginning. I even shaved off my long black hair - thinking Im some kind of Buddha prodigy. My bald head caused quite the stir in my college. My ego and pride back then was hilarious. Eventually my ego got another hit when I was heartbroken again at 20. This time not only did I shave my head again - but I renounced all together. (Its ridiculous how every time I get my heart broken I either cut my hair very short or shave it off completely. I think most women have this need to do something with their hair when they go through a bad break up!) Anyway - this time I had found new answers under a different Guru - Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev. He is the coolest and the most unconventional guru I know of. When he enters a room, it feels like as if a lion has walked in. He has the most penetrating eyes I have ever seen and just the sound of his voice will send shivers up your spine. I definitely felt like he was the “One” - the father of all gurus. He was my ticket to enlightenment - I was convinced. I got initiated into a whole new set of intense meditations and breathing practices. Spending time with him and his other disciples I felt like layers and layers that constituted who I was - were getting peeled off me! It was quite a painful process. There would be nights that I would cry myself to sleep for no apparent reason. And then there would be days that I felt so much joy & excitement that my body was not enough to contain it. I felt like I was falling in love - strangely enough not with a man - but with something inside of me, and around me. Looking at the sky would make me blush. I would hug trees and talk to bugs! Sadguru made me go through a 3 day process that all his followers are allowed to go through just once in their lifetime. Its supposed to change your perception forever. I was excited. But I had no expectation - and I made sure I gave a 100% of myself in those 3 days. What followed cannot be put into words by anyone. Simply because those 3 days take you beyond your mind. And what is beyond the mind cannot be explained or understood. It can only be experienced. Those 3 days took me beyond the boundaries and confinement of my body and my thoughts and what I considered to be little “me”. Suddenly I felt that I had merged into everything that has ever existed. Right from a grain of sand to the biggest mountain. There were moments where I felt that I was pregnant, as if the entire universe was somehow inside of me. Every plant, animal and human being felt like an extension of my body. I didn’t know where my body ended and where “something” else started. For a few moments even the existence of “me as girl” had dissolved. I was everything and nothing at the same time. It seemed like my mind and my personality had gone into a coma like state. My body was caught in what looked like a severe convulsion and I was crying so loud that Im sure it was deafening to the people around me. I felt so humbled and yet vast and eternal at the same time. My face and my t-shirt were soaked in my tears. What I had heard was right - my perception had changed forever. I felt mutated. It was a whole new me that had nothing to do with who I was before the 3 day process. I was in love with everything. Every moment in time had a kind of shine or glitter to it. I had a new sense of appreciation for the world, a new level of empathy and connection with whoever I interacted with. Obviously the intensity of this experience faded with time, but nonetheless I was living with more awareness than ever before. With this new found sense of self I decided to travel for the next few months, just to see what else could there possibly be to experience? I did everything from hiking the grand canyon, to sky diving, & scuba diving to getting my tongue pierced and my body tattooed. I back packed through America for 3 months straight, and I never spent more than 7 days in any place. I had so much energy in me that needed to be expressed in some way. I felt invincible for a while. When I returned to India (because my funds were over), I was pretty much unrecognizable.

Within a few months I found myself caught in the grind of life again. Its amazing how much we are affected by our surroundings and the people around us. Living in India I started feeling claustrophobic. I knew this is not where I want to live my life. I almost felt like there are 2 versions of me that exist simultaneously - one that gets caught in the daily drama, and the second thats just watching all of this daily drama like some kind of a movie, totally detached from any preferences or any outcomes. Eventually I found my way out of India and back to America. I got myself enrolled in a Masters course in a university in Iowa. Call it destiny or sheer luck, but this university happened to be founded and run by an Indian enlightened guru called Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. My 3rd guru. Its strange how are lives get pulled in certain directions. I spent the next 2 years studying at this university which had the most unconventional but strict daily routine for all of its students. No exceptions. We were all required to meditate 2 to 4 hours a day. We were even graded on our meditations. And if you didn’t make the grade then you couldn’t graduate! I had courses that studied the evolution and the different levels of human consciousness. What gets you enlightened and what doesn’t? 9:30 pm was bedtime and I would be up before 6:00 am. Following a pure vegetarian diet and with hours of daily chanting and reading of ancient Indian vedic texts - I finally graduated with a Masters in Vedic Science in 2007. Was I enlightened by the end of it? Definitely not. But I must say that those 2 years were some of the best years of my life. I was surrounded by the most amazing people. People who were all driven by the same intense burning desire to crack the code of enlightenment? What on earth is it all about? Needless to say I made some real close friends. The ones you know you’ll have for life. Everybody I met there had strange stories of their own. This little university in the middle of nowhere in Iowa is like a magnet for like minded people. This place had an energy that would just make things happen effortlessly. Every time I go there things just magically fall in place. All the pieces of the puzzle come together. The years that I was studying there, I was at my healthiest. My body was so fit and strong, I almost had energy that would extend past my body. My mind was always so awake and aware. And obviously I had some pretty cool experiences there too, which probably need a book of their own.

So why am I telling you all of this?

Whether you are actively searching and yearning for enlightenment or not, there is something within all of us that drives us in certain directions. There is something in us that is never satisfied and is always looking for more. We could be lucky enough to find the love of our lives and yet there are times that we feel that nobody can really ever know us and we are all alone. There have been times in my life where I have been paralyzed with the feeling that I don’t know who I am or what I want? Everything seemed pointless, as if there is nothing to be, do or have.

I truly believe that God exists in every atom, every molecule of this existence. In that sense the only true form of God is within each one of us. Our conscience that has a voice and speaks up every time our internal compass points towards something wrong, the peace we feel when we have occasionally managed to quiet our minds, the joy we feel when we have made someone else happy - these are all signs of our divinity within.

I am God, You are God, we are all Gods - and so is every grain of sand, every plant and every animal. But the only strange thing is that we are not consciously aware of it. Maya and our egos have done such a superb job of overshadowing our Godhood that we are blind to our own eternity. Like fools we go searching for what we already have.

But as the great Sai Baba says - do not be distressed - The God within you will not rest until it is awakened completely. It is the God within that triggers your curiosity and makes you wonder "Who is God? Who am I? What is my purpose? What is the meaning of life? It is the God within you that sends you on this ultimate search...

And as you start listening to this inner God voice - the more you get guided in the direction of enlightenment - the more you follow the signs - the more the God within you awakens! Its a paradox - It is God itself that awakens the God in you! And eventually - inevitably - you return home - to your true nature of Godhood. The ego falls away like a snake skin. Have I returned home yet? No - But I know that my compass is pointing where it is supposed to - towards my beloved God... and very soon I will make it. I will be home at last. A happily ever after. I urge all of you to do the same. All you have to do is be honest and sincere to your voice within. You are the God that you have been looking for.

Peace be with all.
Samastha Loka Sukhino Bhavantu.
Om Shanti Shanti Shantihi.

Swami Vivekananda

2008-11-21T22:26:00.000-08:00

First believe in the world - then there is meaning behind everything.

Dont look back - look forward, with infinite energy, infinite enthusiasm, infinite daring, and infinite patience - then alone can great deeds be accomplished.

I, for one, thoroughly believe that no power in the universe can withhold from anyone anything they really deserve,

“Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, that is way great spiritual giants are produced.”

“You have to grow from the inside out. None can teach you, none can make you spiritual. There is no other teacher but your own soul.”

“We are what our thoughts have made us; so take care about what you think. Words are secondary. Thoughts live; they travel far.”

“In one word, this ideal is that you are divine.”

The will is not free - it is a phenomenon bound by cause and effect - but there is something behind the will which is free.”

“That man has reached immortality who is disturbed by nothing material.”

The Making of History!

2008-11-05T06:40:00.000-08:00

In the past few months - I have been amazed by the people in this country. The whole process of the elections, the campaigns, the supports, the cheers, the degree of responsibility on the individual level! And it finally paid off - last night November 4th 2008 - marked the beginning of Change.

I was fortunate enough to witness it and be present in Grand Park Chicago - screaming and cheering with the crowd. I have never seen anything like it before. The coming together of an entire city on the streets - the support - the love - the hopes on peoples faces - the connection that every single person made with another - just to express their happiness and validate it - in others as well. I even heard an adorable 4 year old girl scream "Obama" in her mothers arms - it was all surreal.

Just before the results - I texted one of my friends - "Happy Election Day" - in response to that I got a text back that said - "I don't Vote." My mind blanked for a minute. How can you not vote? Are you seriously kidding me?

After the election results - another friend of mine put his status on facebook as - "I dont really Care..." - I thought I was going to faint - in shock! How can you not care? May be if I sent you to live in countries like India, Afghanistan, Iraq or even Pakistan - then you will really know what it means to "Not Care." The only thing that is worse than war and hatred is "indifference."

I am Indian by birth - I was born and raised there. A country that is politically challenged - the people who run the government are the ones who have committed the most heinous crimes possible - they are full of greed, have no education, the don't give a damn about the common average man and they usually get their votes by sheer use of force and pointing a gun at anyone who wont support them!

The reasons are obvious of why I chose to move and live in the United States.

This country amazes me. Every day. I know no country is perfect. We all have our struggles. And yet the United States of America - is way more blessed - way more fortunate than so many other countries. And yesterday was a big example of that.

Although I live here - I cannot vote - because I'm not an American citizen yet.. someday I will be - but not yet. And it pained me that I was left out - I wasn't allowed to vote. But that didn't stop me for supporting my leader in every way that I could. It didn't stop me from praying towards it, for it. I voted in my heart and in my mind.

And when I see Americans who don't vote - who don't care - who don't use their individual power towards change - it just aches me - I wanna tell them give me your vote and I will use it to support the right people. I would like to use my power towards change.

I ask all of those people again - how can you not care? How can you take for granted this country that you live in? How can you not know that a country is what it is and what it can be only through the people who live in it. "You are your country." The whole is only as good as its parts! Wake up - to the responsibility and the power within you as an individual. No man can live in isolation. We are connected in innumerable ways. Whether we know it or not - we impact and influence each other with our thoughts and actions. There is no denying it.

So lets just wake up to it. There is no time to waste. All of us right now have the good fortune to live in this time and age - its the making of history before our very eyes - each and every one of us right now has the responsibility towards creating a better future - a different future. Choosing a great leader is just the beginning. It brings great power - to everyone. How are we going to use our power? What are we going to create? What will we change? As individuals and as a nation what are we going to do now that will change the lives of the coming generations?

Think about it - we owe part of our lives now to the people who lived before us - the lives of the people in our future will be impacted by what we do now. We all stand on somebody's shoulders. There is no denying it.

PS - A few quotes to reflect on :

"Although the connections are not always obvious, personal change is inseparable from social and political change." - Harriet Lerner:

"We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future." - George Bernard Shaw:

"Few will have the greatness to bend history itself; but each of us can work to change a small ... Read Moreportion of events, and in the total of all those acts will be written the history of this generation." - Robert F. Kennedy

What is The Ego?

2008-11-01T21:40:00.000-07:00

We use this word so easily, but do we really know the depths and the extent of it and what it really means? Dr Wayne Dyer - one of my favorite writers, mentors and good friend describes - EGO - as “Edging God Out!” A good definition I would say! Gautam Buddha even after attaining Nirvana said “I am still not Free!” Free of what? The ego and all its layers - accumulated over lifetimes! If the Buddha is not free even after being enlightened - then what can be said about the freedom of you and I?
In eastern philosophy - the Vedic texts in India - describe the Ego as an aspect of “MAYA” - the beautiful Goddess of Illusion -(on the Macrocosmic level.) When a soul takes on a human body, Maya confers upon it the veil of an Ego -(Microcosmic level.) From then on - this veil of the Ego hides our true nature of the Spirit - of pure consciousness - untouched, all knowing, all pervasive consciousness that creates the universe and all the worlds in it - the source of all life and all species. This unfathomable all powerful Spirit that takes on the form of one little individual human being for a little while - (hiding behind the ego) - starts believing in limits and boundaries, in the concept of time, the idea of separation and of opposites. Simply put - from a state of unity to a state of duality. Now even though I’m trying - Its almost completely impossible to describe and fully understand the Ego in words! Just because the symptoms and the layers of the Ego are just so vast - this illusion runs so deep that even the wise awakened ones like the Buddha still feel the remnants of it lurking around somewhere in their beings! So what does that mean for us? What is the way out? Even though you and I are no where near “Buddha-hood” - there are still little things that we can do - take baby steps along the way! That is to say we can identify some of the symptoms of the ego and every time we recognize some of it in ourselves we can make a conscious shift from Ego to Spirit.

The constant feeling of “I” - me & mine - accompanied by pride - I did this, I own this, I need to do this in order to prove something, my house, my job, my car, my body, my money, my reputation, etc etc. This feeling of “I & Me” also makes stronger the feeling of separation - of Me Vs Them - on some level or the other you are always at war against the people who don’t agree with you. When you recognize this - try to drop it - and see that there is no difference between you and anybody else! You only have separate bodies - other than that we all share the same spirit and the same ego and we are all just waves in the same ONE Ocean!
Feelings and emotions of embarrassment, anger, jealousy, irritation, frustration etc - all of this really just boils down to one thing - That something didn’t happen “Your Way” - the way you expected or planned! So what? What’s the big deal really? If for just one moment you can put your ego aside and look through the eyes of your spirit - then you will know - that no matter what happens - its ALL Good! Without the limits of the ego - you truly ARE everything that exists - it is always “your” way - you(spirit) is all there is - all things and events exist in you! I know - this is a hard concept to grasp - easier said than done - but we can definitely try and relax into life! No matter what happens we can at least try and be accepting of things without getting fired up each time! Relax! Be happy and grateful about every curve and eventually you’ll be able to see the bigger picture and the rainbow behind it all.
Fear, Doubt and Unworthiness. In a strange way they are all inter-related. When I was young - my father described FEAR to me as False - Evidence - Appearing - Real! Aka - its an Illusion. And this definition has stuck with me ever since! I love it - it totally dissipates the negative emotional state! Now I think that this same definition of fear can be applied to the feelings of doubt and unworthiness as well. All 3 of these are false beliefs that we accept as real. Its ridiculous! And all of these 3 can have a strong grip on us - only because we lack real understanding of what they are! The feeling of Fear exists usually because we don’t fully comprehend what we are fearful of? We believe that the thing that we fear is going to harm us in some way! I had a fear of heights - and the only way I thought I could move beyond it was to face it head on - and so I went Sky Diving! And I cannot find enough words to describe how much I enjoyed it - it was one of the most liberating, thrilling, out of this world experiences of my life. I would do it again in a heartbeat! Nothing can ever harm you - the only thing that harms you is your fear of something. It limits you from fully expressing yourself and from being open to all possibilities. Doubt - on the other hand is a condition that makes us believe that something is Not possible. The ego looks at everything as “finite” - while the spirit only knows “infinite”. The next time you doubt something - Imagine that you created all of the universe! You are the source of all things. How can anything be impossible for the power that is responsible for all of existence? Think about it. And lastly - Unworthiness - is nothing other than a sub-conscious feeling of lack because you didn’t match up to somebody else’s expectations! Expectations is a whole other subject that needs its own discussion - but for now - lets just try and answer this question - Do you think God is worthy? How would you define the value of God? I know the question in itself sounds insane - thats how insane your feeling of unworthiness is. There is no difference between you and God. Sai Baba - one of the greatest spiritual teachers in India says - “The only distance between You and God - is the distance between You and Yourself.”

What If ?

2008-11-01T11:17:00.001-07:00

What If...
What if you knew you could never fail...?
what if you knew that the all consuming love you are looking for has been with you all along?
What if you could comprehend your body’s innate intelligence and all that it is capable of?
what if you knew - really really knew that there are no ordinary moments?
What if you knew that you are never alone? You are connected to everything - and anything that you want is only a thought away....

How different would your life be if you really knew all these things?

There is no such thing as Failure... There is only the law of Results!
You perform a certain action in the direction of your goals and if you don’t get the results you want - then you simply try a different approach! If what you are doing is not working then you have to change it, adjust it, improvise it, be flexible, bend, reach out, reach higher! Thomas Edison - made 3000 attempts before he successfully invented the light bulb - but before it happened people laughed at him and called him a failure! His reply simply was - “I haven’t failed - I know 3000 ways in which it wont work! Every wrong attempt discarded is a step forward!” Genius! The only thing that comes close to the idea of “failing” is Not Trying... or Giving Up all together! So march on - your journey isn’t over yet!

The Love of your Life? ... is YOU yourself!
Almost all of humanity thinks they need to meet that perfect soul mate - this love that will find you and make you whole so that you can end your story with a “happily ever after!” You might even be lucky enough to have some exciting hollywood romances in your life, you know the ones that make you stupid happy, smiling for no reason, magic in the air yada yada yada! But how long does it last? Before you fall from the sky and into the abyss of yourself? Starting from scratch and searching all over again? Few enlightened awakened people know and have been teaching these words all along - Love is not something you search for or wait for - It is “Who You Are!” Most people recycle the same relationship issues - move from person to person - first bask in the warmth of the “new” found love - but when that sun sets they find themselves back in the same darkness that they have been running away from all along - lonely even within a relationship! Don’t know what went wrong? Golden words here - when realized will result in a major life shift, change in paradigms, an awakening! "You are forever complete - any partnership you enter in is only to share the love and joy that you already are!" You cannot recognize what a soul “mate” is if you don’t know your own soul? You attract who ‘you’ are - hence any relationship issues you face is a direct reflection of you (& your partner)! You cannot have a promise to an external love unless you take those very sacred vows of love with yourself first! All the love you will ever need flows from you - within you - recognize it, acknowledge it and live it everyday! Lastly love comes in all forms, from all directions - from all kinds of sources! Its always there - everywhere! Wake up to it!

Your Body is the Temple you live in...keep it Sacred!
“The doctor of the future will give no medicine, but will interest his patients in the care of the human body, in diet, and in the cause and prevention of disease.” - Thomas Edison!
Your body is the most miraculous, living breathing, dynamic, infinitely intelligent machine created - for You - so that you may express yourself in the best way you can as a human “being” in this short visit on earth! Good Health is the natural state of our body - to make you thrive is your body’s only job. And all it needs in return from you is a lifestyle that supports its intelligence! Your body will do anything you want it to - its potential is practically limitless! But how many of us really have the awareness of the body that we live in? What it needs? Do we listen when our bodies are talking to us? A few natural laws to live by : - 1.) Your body is 75% water - a diet rich in “water content foods” keeps your body in a thriving state. Make fresh fruits and vegetables the main part of your daily diet! 2.) Your body is not designed to ingest excessive meat, alcohol & processed “junk” food! Such foods vibrate at a very low energy and are toxic to your body! In fact they draw energy away from your body which leads to a state of imbalance and disease. 3.) Stress - is one of the biggest causes of imbalance. Know that there is no stress outside of you - All stress is only “you” having stressful “thoughts”! Meditate! Relaxing and slowing down the mind not only relieves you of stress but helps the energy and the life force in your body flow more efficiently! 4.) Rest and Activity - the 2 dynamics of life - reward yourself with both! Rest when you need to and follow it with intense movement - exercise in any way that you enjoy. Exercise can be a great way for mind - body meditation! 5.) Finally - Respect your body - everyday in every way. How you treat it - what you put in your mouth? How do you fuel your body? Whom do you share your body with? Slow down - be aware of what your body is doing for you day in and day out - be mindful while eating your meals - eat slowly, chew more, stop eating when you are half full - you need less food than you think! Stop eating 3 hours before bed time! And more importantly - LIVE CONSCIOUSLY! - "This is the Only Body You Have!"

There are No Ordinary Moments...
Every tree and plant in the meadow seemed to be dancing, those which average eyes would see as fixed and still” - Rumi
The most common complaint, the most widespread mental human condition - Boredom (&loneliness)! How can you ever be bored? There is dynamic life everywhere! Your ego is the only thing that can ever be bored. Because by nature the ego is always chasing the “next” thing, looking for fulfillment “outside”. Nothing is ever enough... more - more and more! Trapped in the illusion of time - the ego is always ceaselessly swinging between the past and the future. Your mind is always racing, worrying, planning, doubting and the worst of all - getting bored! But when you make the conscious shift to live from the place of your spirit - you know that “this” moment is all there is! So whatever you do - you do it with awareness - with a 100% of your attention & commitment! “Non-doing” becomes equally important and joyous as”Doing”. Just “Being” still can be extremely rewarding and entertaining! When you start observing life with an internal awareness - you wake up to everyday magic! When you align yourself with your spirit - you live on purpose - you let a higher energy flow through you that makes all things possible - without much effort! There is so much to do, to share, to experience, to learn, grow and evolve in a lifetime - and all of this coupled with the constant feeling of connection to all life - just makes the whole ride even more exciting and worth while! So take a moment to re-connect - with yourself and your surroundings! I guarantee, you will never be bored or frustrated again - There are NO Ordinary moments - and boredom like most other things is just an illusion!

Aham Brahmasmi - a Sanskrit Mantra that translates to “I AM Totality!”
Boredom and Loneliness - a condition that plagues all human beings. With 6.7 billion people on our planet - how can anyone be Lonely? Or Bored? The answer actually is quite simple and obvious - the human EGO - the illusion of separation! Our egos make us believe on a conscious level that we as individuals are separate from the rest - we are unique, we are different, we have our own personal life agendas going on - and if things dont go as we plan then all hell breaks loose and its all so unfair! On a more sub-conscious level our egos inflict us with the beliefs of unworthiness, of doubt, of separation, of disconnect - it builds invisible walls around us! And most of us don’t know how to get out of this? Again - its all very simple - we believe we are all chained down with limits - when in actuality we are all free - always have been - always will be. We believe we are born - we live and then we die - in actuality - you take on a human body like a costume for a while to enjoy some time on earth - to express yourself - You are eternal spirit - consciousness that is never born and will never die. We believe we are our egos, our minds - we identify ourselves with everything - get attached to fleeting things - in actuality your personality, your thoughts, everything you accumulate mentally, emotionally, or the “stuff” in your bank - its all just layers - that you will discard like a snake skin when you leave this life! So what do we do now? Make the shift from your ego to your spirit - from the unreal to real! Recognize that we are ALL connected - just like the same electricity runs through all the gadgets & appliances in your house! The same spirit - divine source runs through us all - we are only separated by our egos. Reach out and make that connection with whom so ever you interact with. Share your “being” your time, your smiles, your kindness, your knowledge, your care with everyone. The only real purpose you can ever have in this lifetime is to “Serve” and connect with your fellow human beings! To influence, to reach out, to help and improve the quality of life of the people that come your way! To make someone else happy even if its just for a moment! Its the only way you will know real happiness yourself that is grounded deep within your core - an unshakable happiness - unreasonable happiness! And finally - the only thing that matters when you leave your body - is not how much you achieved or accumulated in your life - but how much you grew and evolved in your consciousness and how much you helped others do the same! So live well - live now - make the most of it - you are not alone - never have been - and never will be!

For the Love of RUMI

2008-10-31T17:58:00.000-07:00

“You were born with wings. Why prefer to crawl through life?” - Rumi

“Every tree and plant in the meadow seemed to be dancing, those which average eyes would see as fixed and still” - Rumi

“All day I think about it, then at night I say it. Where did I come from, and what am I supposed to be doing? I have no idea. My soul is from elsewhere, I'm sure of that, and I intend to end up there.” - Rumi

“I died a mineral, and became a plant. I died a plant and rose an animal. I died an animal and I was man. Why should I fear? When was I less by dying?” - Rumi

“Why do you stay in prison
when the door is so wide open?

Move outside the tangle of fear-thinking.
Live in silence.” - Rumi

“Silence is the language of God, all else is poor translation.” - Rumi

If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished? - Rumi

“Don't grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.” - Rumi

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. - Rumi

“The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along.” - Rumi

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” - Rumi

The Good, the Bad and the Ego!

2008-10-31T11:37:00.000-07:00

"If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or
reasonable,you disconnect yourself from what you truly
want, and all that is left is compromise." - Robert Fritz

Humanity's biggest dilemma is how we choose. Whats the best decision?
Whats right, whats wrong? Should I listen to my head or my heart?
And then of course, there is the dreaded "What if?" and "Now what?"
that comes before and after making a choice.

After some thought, it appears the real question is: Is there such a
thing as a good choice or a bad choice? If yes, then how do we
know the difference?

Everybody's life, at every moment, is paved with multiple choices.
Choices that will shape and reveal the next step, the next
experience, the next joy or sorrow.

For most people, making a choice or a decision can be quite
stressful. They are torn between two options cannot figure
out which of the two is better or right. This stress can be
accompanied by anxiety, fear and the risk factor that comes
with choosing one path over another. Some people use the
"pros and cons" method to clear their confusion, while
others just end up procrastinating or taking no
action (which is also a choice in itself.)

Every choice has a consequence - and the truth is that we
cannot choose our consequences, we can only choose our
actions and intentions.

Sometimes our consequences don't turn out the way we expect
them to, even though the choice we made felt totally right.
Why is that? It's because we live in a society that sees everything
as two: right or wrong, black or white, pain or pleasure. We refer
to this as the perception of separation, the world of duality,
or of "either-or" - simply put - the world of EGO!

This ego based perception is what leads us to falsely believe
that there is "a choice" to be made in the first place. And what
is the choice really based on? It is based on our limited
perceptions. As humans - blinded by the ego, we cannot
possibly see the bigger picture; the grand scheme of things.
So the ultimate question of a good choice Vs bad choice simply
boils down to nothing more than -
"A choice from the Spirit Vs A choice from the Ego."

When it comes to the dilemma of making choices - instead
of getting tangled up in opposites & choosing between this 'or' that
- we can start by clearly looking within us. We can reach for the
field of the spirit, that energy, that voice within that speaks to us all -
Slow down, Listen to the silent whispers... your Inner Being - your
consciousness is always showing you the way! It is
"A knowing" that has no opposite, no alternative,
a feeling of "This is it!" This option is aligned to our
higher purpose. The answer is not "out there" it is "in here."

The next time you find yourself in a situation where you feel
the need to choose, step back, observe your urges, your old
thought patterns. Notice how your ego automatically divides
things into good and bad, this or that. Release these images.

Channel your energy differently. Affirm your intentions.
Make positive affirmations. Let go of all previous expectations.
Relax into the moment. Surrender yourself. Move beyond ego.
Reconnect with your true self.

Breathe deeply, meditate, or walking silently through a park.
Become aware of the trees and plants around you. Slow down
the compulsive chatter in your head. Have faith that the next
step will reveal itself. Know that the "right" answer is always
the one you end up choosing. It will feel natural and automatic
as if it was made for you, not by you!

- Radhika Kinger