Yes the Eternal question - What is Isness? Who am I ?
Everybody has a an idea, a belief or a spiritual experience when it comes to knowing and finding God. But finding God - is just the second to last step - like the tearing through the fabric sky of the Truman Show. God does not exist - simply because the human "ego" does not exist. God exists only in context to human beings. No human beings = no God to love, seek or worship.
But Human beings do exist - of course we do - but we all exist in our own Truman show - not knowing that its all fake. Its all a dream. Of course in the show/dream a God exists too. A very loving one. But its not the Ultimate. Eventually.... no matter how amazing the show is ..... everyone starts feeling an itch, a discomfort....a feeling that something is not right.... something is weird, odd.... something is missing.... and so the search begins, for the Ultimate Satisfaction. The seeking and exploring..... of what the hell is going on? Who am I? What does it mean to be spiritual? What is Enlightenment? How do you get there?
This note is not about the "process" of enlightenment but what happens after? Whats behind the final door? What happens once you go through the gateless gate? What happens when Truman tears through the fabricated sky? It is the point where the ego dissolves.... more like the projected hologram withdraws itself - this is Enlightenment - along with the ego dissolves also the idea of "2's" - of duality - human beings and God are one - not 2. The God that you were searching all along was you yourself. There was never a God outside of you that needed worship or seeking. Sai baba - says it beautifully - "The distance between you and God is the distance between you are yourself."
The Love, the Faith, the Hope, the Surrender that you feel for an invisible God - you will eventually feel for yourself, within yourself.... then with everybody else..... then with the Universe at large. There is no authority outside of you. You are your own Guru, your own God that you have been looking for.
So if you and God are one - and both dissolved in Enlightenment - or rather did not exist to begin with then what is the source of everything? ISNESS - ISNESS - ISNESS - JUST ISNESS.
ISNESS is just another name for God - the only difference is that "God" is personal - there is emotion & devotion because God exists in context to human beings and the human ego.
Isness on the other hand is totally Neutral.
If I had to describe Isness from my experience of my present reality - it would be something like this - (note - no amount of description through words or language can describe Isness - and neither can "a mind" comprehend it. But here goes.....)
Imagine Isness - Eternity - extending infinitely in all directions - pure Nothingness. Somewhere in the center ( well there are no boundaries so there is no "center" - but just for the sake of understanding use your imagination.) ..... in the center - is "ALL" of existence - and with that I mean - all the universes - all the galaxies - the number of which cannot even be counted - the observable universe alone may contain a 100 billion galaxies, all the milky ways - in our own galaxy the sun is just one of 100 billion stars. Everything - Everything that "Exists" is just a tiny speck within "ISNESS." Phew and thats not it......
"ALL" of existence that is within this Infinite Neutral Isness - is like a giant Ocean - and everything that is existing within this existence - be it a universe, a sun, planet earth, you, your neighbor, your dog, the tree on the curb, that terrorist you hate - everything is just a wave in the ocean of existence. Nothing is really solid or has an identity of its own. Ever watched an Ocean? How long do the waves last? What is the nature of each wave? The wave arises from the ocean - holds an identity as "a wave" for a few seconds - still being an extension of the ocean the entire time and then merges back into the ocean. A full circle.
That's what is going on. Everything that exists - just flows like waves.
The "human experience" is that of a wave arising - but forgetting that it is an extension of the ocean..... and thus the search for the ocean... and when it merges back - "the ego or the identity" that once existed - dissolves back into nothingness - ISNESS. When the ego is gone what remains? The True Self remains which = No Self which = ISNESS. Always has been, IS & always will be. Eternity.
Even all of existence that looks so solid within Isness - is just a concept, an idea that is projected by Isness itself. Like a hologram. You, our planet and everything that exists - is appearing and disappearing 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 times in less than a second..... we are all popping in and out of existence so fast that it all looks solid. Just like if you saw a moving fan - it looks like a sphere moving like a Frisbee...but the minute you turn the fan off - you realize its not a round disk - but in fact 3 separate blades that were moving so fast.
So what is the meaning of life? Nothing. What is the purpose of life? Nothing.
As long as you are experiencing yourself as a separate wave - of course there is meaning & purpose in the relative context. And the meaning is whatever you want it to be. Its all about you. You really are the center of the universe and everything revolves around you.
But when you experience yourself as the ocean again - or better still - when you experience yourself as "ISNESS" again - then what meaning or purpose remains? There is not a feeling of "I" anymore - just the feeling of nothingness which = ISNESS which = everything (and Nothing.)
This was my experience of enlightenment - I was in India - and late at night - my eyes were suddenly glued shut for what what I can only imagine must have been 5 hours or so.... and within that time - "Radhika and the "I" feeling was gone and instead "I" was ISNESS - and all of existence and creation was within me like the ocean and the waves in it. The feeling was very neutral. Absolute nothingness. In those 5 hours everything there is to be known was known to me. I was asking all the questions & I was myself answering them to myself.
And then I collapsed - unconscious - deep sleep - when I awoke the next morning - EVERYTHING was different - Radhika existed no more - Isha was uncovered. Of course no one jumps to realizing ISNESS right away & neither did I - enlightenment looks and seems like a process - you do first grow & evolve more and more spiritually - start aligning more with the spirit - then there is a definite experience of "unconditional love - Godhood - a very personal feeling - an experience of "Oneness" with everyone & all beings - and finally its the Experience of ISNESS - I AMNESS - Neutral. Everything dissolves. The world is not broken and so there is nothing to fix. Everything is Perfection. There is neither Creation, nor Destruction, Neither Free Will, nor Destiny, Neither Path, nor Achievement.
It ALL Just IS.
My friends still ask me why? why all this? Why do we all exist?
And all there is to say is this - for those who get a little emotional about it - "God separated himself from himself - so that he can Love himself."
Everything just IS.
ISNESS - GOD - is just going through a full circle. Like a wave in its own being.
ENJOY ;-)